If you had not gone through a big crisis yet while still struggling with anxiety and trying to deal with it, it's likely that you thought of reducing the sources of stress around you so it will be easier to cope, then when you get better you might try to gradually increase your exposure to the sources of stress in a controlled manner. The first thing you do is categorising the sources of stress around you based on priority and duration, how long do I have to be with this source of stress, a job or a person, and how important it is to keep in contact with it. if it's a job oftentimes it will be top priority and it might come with a host of people that often add to your stress so if you pick dealing with this one source of stress you get the people related to it as a bonus. Which in turn reduces the space that you set for stress sources and limit your remaining options so when it comes to keeping some people that might cause you stress in the future you'd have to let go if it's long term and prefer the type of social relationships that gives you a lot of personal space where you choose when to get in touch with the person and when to leave so everything would be under your control, this sort of flexibility you'd often get from family and friends who know your situation and support you.
In theory, this should work fine but in actual fact it doesn't help all that much, yes you feel better than before but deep down you feel like you have a time bomb inside of you that might go off any minute if something came up that wasn't counted for or something you can't control, which applies to a big part of our everyday life, so you'd always keep that fear inside of you while trying to enjoy the outward quietness.
Looking at your life this way, it's far from normal. You keep trying but it's as though you are watching this life from the sidelines unable to step in and join. Cultivating new relationships is almost impossible no matter how hard your determination is, unless it's work related because you already limited their access to yourself to be only during work hours so the duration is relatively short. Your friends and family are getting further from you because while they are giving you the space you need it erects barriers that make you feel lonely while you are with them, it's hard to overcome this because you are the one who set the boundaries and you can't undo it yet. This is an invisible stress that makes you just feel a sense of loss even though you seemingly lost no one and even though your life seems to be under control, you are not living like everyone else.
The question here is what's the alternative? What can you do to limit the sources of stress around you while living normally. You need to look inside you for the answer, manipulating the outside world so it seems controllable to you is much harder than manipulating yourself so you would be under your control. You are aware now that there are two parts inside of you, ego and self, so you need to use the part that was unaffected by the outside world (self) to protect and guide the other part that's causing you much grief because of his tendency to be easily affected by the outside world. You need to adopt some of the ideals of the guru (self) inside you based on truth, not your desires.
For example, you have to work on a project and worried about your performance, like what if I did it wrong or poorly, what would my boss think or co-workers, etc.... Now you need to get a simple fact into your head and remember it at all times. when you start a project, you assess your skills based on actual numbers from previous projects you worked on then add to it how much effort you can give the new project so now you have the tools to start, so based on this you are giving it your 100%, if the result was poor there's nothing you can do about it because you already did your best.
There's no purpose in worrying or comparing to others, the result you will get will give you an idea about what to do next, it will help you reassess yourself based on new information that was not available to you prior to working on this project, so you are able now to work on your weak points so you can do better next time and become more confidant in your skills. This new perspective cut down much wasted energy where you used to divide your attention between worry and work, now you are only focused on work and looking forward to the result so you can either succeed and gain more confidence or set a new goal for improvement and in turn gain more confidence as well.
This is a step in giving up the attachment you have for your job, you created a chain of purposes that will turn your previous inflexible job to a more flexible set of things you can do either to improve or start over in a different way while doing the same type of work. Dealing with your top priority in this way should come naturally from then on so it will not seem like a source of stress anymore which will give you more space to deal with other people in your life and the events related to them. Dealing with people seems like getting in the middle of chaos, which is true. You can't control people's actions or responses but you can totally control your participation in this chaos.
Inside your body there are the two parts, ego and self, controlling your actions and reactions to others, think of the self as the one who will guide and protect the ego. So now you carry your own protection with you, previously you sorted the people in your life in rings around you based on how close you keep each person. By close I don't mean their access to you but how strongly you feel about them, it's unrealistic to think that anyone can evoke strong emotions inside you. for example, you can argue with the guy that hit your car in passing until you are hoarse but you won't remember his face once you get home. Try to put the people that constantly cause you stress on the same level as this guy, engage with them on the outside while being detached on the inside because anyway they are not going home with you and they can't keep you if you decided to end your participation in their self made drama.
Set a fixed schedule for prayer/meditation and try to reflect often on your own analysis of different situations in the past. You can do that in a place that makes you feel safe or relaxed, it helps when it's out in the open with nothing obstructing your view (seaside, mountain, meadow). Self reflection is not the same as prayer/meditation, it needs only a place where you can relax alone and start thinking on your past actions with people and the outcome based on your new perception of truth that's unaffected by outside influence. You can also reflect on your current interactions with people based on your new ideals, if you can let go of your expectations from the people around you it will be the first step in giving up attachments to people. You actually don't need anything from most people except for a small number of close family and friends who are already giving you support and love in their own way. Look past what you want them to give you and appreciate their willingness to give and be there for you, this idea will give you the feeling that you have their support even if their way of showing it is completely messed up.
Intentionally setting up time to reflect and think with yourself will reduce the noise inside your head a lot while sharpening your focus when dealing with everyday matters because you already have an idea of what's going on inside your head and know what you need from each person so you become more objective and less emotional. You are certain now that all the space you need is just a few minutes of prayer/meditation throughout your day and maybe an hour or two of relaxation and reflection on the weekend, the rest of your time you can spend it with whoever without feeling pressured or restrained.
Let's talk next time about truth vs percieved truth and how to understand and control our response to it which will improve our mental strength.
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